Officiating at Wedding and Single:
It was 2018 or 2019, I was standing in front of my brother and his future wife and in front of family and guests directing and officiating the short 45 minute ceremony. After countless days rehearsing my speech, I gave a brilliant service and, by local civil standards, I officially anointed my brother and his partner 'husband' and 'wife.'
It all seemed perfect, but found it strange when I had to give a speech of support and best wishes coming from a guy that was single, nearly married, and with lack of relationship experience. Yes, there was a bit moment of hesitation when I had to wish my brother and his wife best wishes and what they needed to do to support each other in their marriage. To be honest, I told publicly in front of family and friends that I have no relationship experience and that my speech was going to be cut down to a few words. It ended up being the strangest moment of the whole wedding event beyond officiating in front of 50-60 guests!
Influenced by old tradition
I believe what made me feel strange about being single at a family wedding was that the only other two single people were my younger male cousins. What fueled this concern? I would have to admit it was influenced by my old-fashion parents who still have this expectation of a sequential life to mirror what they went through in their life. I still remember there was at least a few times I was mentioned by my parents that 'oh, its your turn now!' or 'better wake up and start looking for your partner!'
I responded in a jokingly way not really letting it affect me, but rather enjoy the party and being with my brother and the rest of my relatives.
Finding my Inner Peace
I have to admit I did grow up in that old mentality of staging my life events such as job at age 23, married at age 26, father at age 27, and successful career during my 30's. However, this did not pan out as I planned!
My career took a wild rollercoaster ride, worked in different part time jobs to pay the rent, and had some loan debt along the way to just get me through university. Perfect life, right!?
With all these distractions, how on earth can I worry about finding a lovely partner and settle down and there were many uncertainties in my future?
I broke from tradition, made decisions my parents never agreed, and had arguments with my parents about what my future looked like. Then, I took a leap and it was a travel leap to get out of my comfort soon and step back from all the uncertainties. Through a travel expedition of 4 years, meeting new people, yoga sessions, reading, enjoy simplicities of life, and dedicating to appreciating as well as loving myself I came to find my inner peace.
This inner peace helped me avoid feeling uncomfortable about being single during every wedding. I was not worrying about frantically going on dates, subscribing to dating websites, and finding a loving partner to begin a married life together. Honestly, I do want to find a loving partner and share my life with her, but I would prefer nature take its course rather than force anything that I will regret for the rest of my life. I also keep a community of friends that I can talk to and share fantastic moments in life while I seek a loving partner that I can understand and likewise her understanding me.
So, today, it does not bother me to say I will be entering a new decade soon and still single during wedding season, but I can finally say I found my inner peace and appreciate who I am.
